


Love Dies Hard

by Sega64



Series: Beauty of Song [3]
Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Dean goes dark, Dean losing the fight, Demon Dean, M/M, Oral Sex, Rape, i wish i had an angel, nightwish inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:21:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4806059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sega64/pseuds/Sega64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean’s lips came down on Castiel’s and Castiel turned his face away. Castiel had wanted to be with Dean for so long, wanted to feel his lips on his skin, the love in his heart. He never wanted this. This was not Dean, not anymore. For all of this to be happening now in this way, the black empty sheen of those eyes staring at him as though he were a meal to be devoured, Castiel felt his heart breaking. He loved Dean with everything that he had, but had not considered Dean could possibly return his affections. Here, this demonic version was confessing how much he had longed to have him, yearned for him, but there was no love. The words that spilled from his mouth as he moved down along his chest, lips brushing his skin, were nothing but selfish, deplorable, lust and greed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Dies Hard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [destimushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/destimushi/gifts).



> one asterisk(*) is Dean's dark side, two aterisks(**) is his humanity/conscience and no asterisks is just him :P
> 
> For the beautiful Christine! Half on time, half late for your birthday lol
> 
> I know Castiel technically does not have wings during this point without his grace, but I needed it for the story, so shut your faces. Thanks ;D

Dean threw his arm across the nightstand, sending all the objects on it crashing to the ground. This state of transition between human and demon was torture. He imagined that it was something like what Sam must have gone through- withdrawals like an addict, knowing what you should not do but wanting it desperately anyway. The pain of knowing that the thoughts going through your head were so damn wrong, but not being able to stop them. His humanity and the darkness that pulled at him worked together in a strange way, like having an angel and a devil on either shoulder. It was as though they wanted him on one side or the other, and at the same time they wanted to destroy him in the process. The darkness told him there was nothing in it for him to go against his desires; the world was going to hell anyway, so why fight it? Just take what you want and enjoy it. His humanity told him he was a good person and nothing was worth hurting someone he cared about- someone who cared about him too.

_*“Why the hell would you want to be with some arrogant angel dick anyway?”_

_“Because… because he and I… We…”_

_*“What? Share a more profound bond? So what? Don’t you remember what happened last time you had sex with one of those things? She turned on you. Tried to kill your mom and dad, and actually killed Sammy. How many times has the nerd angel lied and betrayed you already anyway?”_

_“But he doesn’t know. Maybe if he knew...”_

_**“No. The only reason he came into your life was because you are an instrument of God. He is an angel- a powerful celestial being- and you are nothing more than heaven’s tool in the form of a human. Your job is to not lose sight of what’s important. Keep fighting the good fight. Fight your demons. The world is in peril-”_

_*“Right. The world is going to hell one way or another, so might as well just cause all the havoc and have all the sex you want with whoever you want. Enjoy the liberation.”_

_“I’m sick of lying. Cas is who I want. The only one.”_

_**“You can’t have him.”_

_*“You can have whoever you want. Take whatever you want.”_

_“Cas?”_

_*“Take him.”_

_**“No! He is your friend. You cannot hurt him. You two have been through so much together, forgiven and forgotten, but there is no coming back from that.”_

_*“What do you want? Take it.”_

_**"Do not hurt him.”_

Dean’s hands gripped tightly at the white porcelain sink. He looked at his reflection in the mirror- beads of sweat on his brow, his jaw trembling as he breathed heavily. There, for a split second he saw it. He saw his eyes go black and then back to the green he knew. He blinked rapidly, turning the faucet on and splashing water on his face. He was not sure if he could handle the tormentors in his head.

He chanced another glance at himself in the mirror and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw himself as he was used to. He grabbed a towel and wiped at his face, turning the faucet off again. His hand faltered and the towel dropped when he caught his reflection looking at him with black eyes and a menacing smirk.

 _*"_ _What do you want?”_  
 

* * *

 

 

There was a knock at the door and Dean stood from his spot on the bed. When he opened the door, Castiel stood on the other side, concern etched in his expression.

“What’s going on, Dean? Why couldn’t we talk on the phone?” Castiel stepped in to the room without invitation.

“Sit down, Cas,” Dean gestured towards the only chair in the room, but Castiel sat at the edge of the bed instead. Dean turned away, grabbing two short glasses from the table and pouring whiskey into both. He offered one of them to a confused looking Castiel who took it hesitantly.

“Dean?”

Dean set the chair to be in front of Castiel and he sat, leaning forward with elbows on his own thighs and the glass in both hands. He sighed heavily and looked at the dark liquid. “There’s something wrong with me, Cas. I haven’t told Sam anything because I don’t need him worrying about me any more than I’m sure he already is.” He looked up to meet Castiel’s eyes. “I’m only telling you because when you get your mojo back, you might have a chance at helping me.”

“What’s wrong? Is it the mark?” Castiel’s expression grew more concerned.

Dean gave a small nod and looked away, biting his lip. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold out, man. I can feel it clawing at me from the inside, just pulling me back to that dark place. Cas, I don’t wanna go back.”

“You won’t, Dean. You’re stronger than that, and Sam and I won’t let you. We will find a cure.”

Dean gave a small huff and a somber smile. “I don’t know, Cas. I think you might just have to find a way to kill me.”

“Dean-”

“It’s either that, or I end up killing you,” Dean said seriously, eyes intense and jaw set.

“I couldn’t do that to you, Dean- not even if I figured out how.”

“Why not?”

Castiel’s brow furrowed, his eyes squinted, giving Dean that curious look he always got. “Because you are my friend and I care about you.”

Dean chuckled. “That so? You sure you want to be friends with a cursed, lowly human, on the verge of going dark again?”

“You won’t,” Castiel stated firmly. He held the un-drunk glass on his knee, eyes unwavering on Dean’s.

Dean shot him a crooked smile and reached forward, clinking his glass to Castiel’s before throwing it back and swallowing its contents in one gulp. He smacked his lips loudly, “I wouldn’t be so sure, Cas.” He let the glass fall from his grasp, the glass thudding on the carpeted floor. He stood and Castiel looked up at him.

“It’s a nice, hopeful thought. But not likely,” Dean said as he reached down, taking Castiel’s hand that held the full glass and guiding it to his mouth. He stepped forward, a leg on either side of one of Castiel’s, his free hand coming up to rest at the back of his head. “Drink, Cas.” He watched Castiel’s befuddled expression as he continued to look up at him, the fallen angel not fighting him in the least as he put the glass to his lips. He tipped it, little by little, and Castiel drank, caution darkening his blue eyes.

Dean pulled the glass back as the last of the liquid reached its edge, causing it to spill and dribble down Castiel’s lips and chin and onto his shirt and tie. Castiel pulled back and looked down at himself, and Dean brought his hand to his chin, making him look up at him again. “Sorry about that, angel. Let me get that for you,” Dean said as he leaned down and licked from Castiel’s chin up to his lips. He gave him a small kiss and pulled back again, looking into his eyes once more.

“Dean, what are you-” Castiel’s words were cut off by Dean using his finger to tilt his head up further and to the side.

Dean leaned down again, slowly licking a stripe up his throat, feeling Castiel’s pulse quicken against his tongue, and to the stubble of his chin again, tasting more of the alcohol as he went. He pulled up enough to look down at him again. “Let’s get you out of this shirt. Wouldn’t want the stain to set.” His hands went to working the buttons and Castiel’s hand came up to stop him, gripping his hand in his. Dean could not figure out whether Castiel was angry, nervous, scared, or disgusted. Maybe it was a bit of everything. Dean huffed a laugh and leaned down. “You calling me your friend is nice, Cas,” he whispered in his ear, “but you should know- demons don’t have any friends.”

Castiel’s eyes widened at those words and he pushed against Dean’s chest, but Dean was strong, and Castiel had only been growing weaker. Dean shoved him down on the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Castiel caught him by the jaw when he tried to come down for another kiss, but his hand was batted away and pinned to the mattress. “Dean, stop this. This isn’t you.”

Dean’s smile then could only be described as feral and predatory as he looked down upon Castiel. His eyes flashed to black. “Oh but this is me. This is all me- new and improved. No more lying to myself about what I want. No more denying myself anything. I'm taking what I want when I want it- and, Angel, all I want tonight is you.”

“Dean, please,” Castiel continued to struggle beneath Dean’s weight. He twisted and turned, trying to scramble out from under him, but the movement seemed to only aid Dean in pulling the coat and jacket off. One hand was trapped under his own body and Dean held the other down firmly.

Dean was pressing down on him again, his nose coming down to the back of Castiel’s neck, nuzzling and inhaling deeply. “Always did like the way you smell. Could get off on that.” He pulled down on the collar of Castiel’s white dress shirt and bit down on the exposed skin, sucking hard.

Castiel gasped but found he could do nothing to help himself. His dwindling grace left him helpless, strength quickly leaving him with any effort exerted. He shivered at the feeling of Dean’s tongue licking up the shell of his ear. “I bet you feel so good- nice and warm inside this meet suit.”

Dean gripped Castiel’s shoulder and flipped him over onto his back again. “You like it in there, Cas? Does it feel good?” He was nuzzling at his neck again, kissing, licking, nipping. He pulled on the tie, loosening it further.

When he moved his hands to the buttons of the shirt, Castiel took the opportunity to take a swing at him. His fist made contact square on Dean’s jaw, jolting his head to the side, but he quickly recovered. When Castiel saw him turn slowly back to face him with a smirk on his face, he knew the fear and regret he felt at that moment must be clear on his face.

“Oh, we can’t have that. Not yet,” he winked. Dean gripped Castiel’s shirt tightly in his fists and ripped it open. He pulled the tie up over his head and immediately after turned him onto his stomach. He pulled the shirt down his shoulders, kissing along his back as he went, using the shirt to keep Castiel’s arms tight at his back. Leaving the shirt pulled down to Castiel’s elbows, he quickly used the tie to bind the angel’s wrists. He turned him again, Castiel’s arms now pinned between his back and the mattress. He looked into Castiel’s eyes, “Don’t be scared, angel. I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

Dean’s lips came down on Castiel’s and Castiel turned his face away. Castiel had wanted to be with Dean for so long, wanted to feel his lips on his skin, the love in his heart. He never wanted this. This was not Dean, not anymore. For all of this to be happening now in this way, the black empty sheen of those eyes staring at him as though he were a meal to be devoured, Castiel felt his heart breaking. He loved Dean with everything that he had, but had not considered Dean could possibly return his affections. Here, this demonic version was confessing how much he had longed to have him, yearned for him, but there was no love. The words that spilled from his mouth as he moved down along his chest, lips brushing his skin, were nothing but selfish, deplorable, lust and greed.

Dean latched onto a nipple, teasing it with teeth, and Castiel hissed. He stroked Castiel’s sides with his fingertips and brought one hand to his crotch, rubbing. He felt the heat under the clothing, felt Castiel growing hard beneath his palm.

“You like that? Like what I do to you huh, Cas? Tell me how that feels.” Dean watched Castiel’s face as he continued to stroke him through his pants.

Castiel whimpered when Dean gave him a squeeze, tears prickling the corners of his eyes from the embarrassment and anger he felt at his body’s betrayal. He tried to move his legs to shield himself, but Dean was too strong, leaning his weight down on him still.

“Can’t wait to taste you, Cas. Wanna know how sweet you are. Bet you’re better than apple pie.” He smiled and then began to mouth over Castiel’s erection. His hands worked at the belt and button of his pants.

Castiel refused to look at Dean; his eyes were closed tight and his head turned away as much as he could, trying unsuccessfully to bury his face in the blanket. However, he felt his heart rate increasing at the sound of the zipper being pulled open. “Dean- Dean, please! Stop!”

“Don’t tell me you don’t want this. I’ve seen the way you look at me. The lust. I always knew what it was but I just couldn’t believe it.”

“Not like this. Please, Dean, not like this. There’s no…” Castiel’s voice cracked.

“’No’ what?”

“No love,” Castiel said quietly, feeling foolish to even say that to the demon.

“Sure there is, Cas.” Dean mouthed over the thin fabric of the boxers, already wet with precum. He hummed and Castiel stifled a moan. “I’m in love with my lust,” he pulled down harshly at the boxers and licked the head of Castiel’s leaking cock, earning a small gasp. “So much better than pie,” he grinned and quickly enveloped his cock in his mouth.

Castiel cried out at the feeling. It was so hot and wet, so good and so wrong. His hands and arms twitched below him, wanting to reach out and put his fingers in Dean’s hair. Dean took all of him, tongue swirling, hard suction, and Castiel could not stop the involuntary bucking of his hips into Dean’s mouth. More tears streamed down his face and into the blankets.

After a couple of minutes of Castiel writhing under Dean’s ministration, Dean came off, looking down at Castiel. He was panting, face flushed, eyes blown, hair disheveled and damp with sweat and tears. Dean growled, “Fuck, you look so good.” He kissed him hard, biting and sucking at his bottom lip. He undressed Castiel completely and pushed his legs apart. He came down once more, mouth sliding down along Castiel’s length and then sucking at his balls briefly, taking one into his mouth first and then the other.

“Lift your hips for me,” Dean ordered, but Castiel remained unmoving save for his quivering and attempt to calm his breathing. Dean crawled over him, “You sure you want to be difficult?” Castiel did not reply. “So cute when you’re all defiant,” Dean gave a short laugh just before rearing his fist back and bringing it back across Castiel’s face, hard.

Castiel looked up at him with shock and fear in his eyes. Dean’s hand swung back again, backhanding him. His eyes flashed back to their normal green and he smiled down at him, “Let’s try that again.”

He backed up again, “Lift.”

Castiel bent his legs, hesitantly beginning to push up, using his bound arms as leverage as well. Dean’s hand stung his skin when he smacked his ass. “C’mon don’t pretend to be a prude. We both know how bad you want to feel me inside you, filling you up. Fucking you hard and fast like the dirty, rebellious little angel you are.”

Castiel lifted up and Dean grabbed him by the thighs, bringing the backs of his knees to rest on his shoulders. He bit and sucked at Castiel’s inner thigh, leaving another mark there.

Castiel was already feeling as though he could not take much more of this when he felt Dean’s tongue slide at the tight ring of muscle of his entrance. Dean lapped at it over and over, probing and sucking, moaning with the pleasure of his actions. “Taste so good. All of you.”

Castiel could not contain himself any longer. His legs were tight at Dean’s shoulders, attempting to bring him in further. He moaned and cried out loudly when Dean slipped fingers in as well and began to brush at his prostate again and again. His cock was pulsing, hot and heavy, aching to be touched.

Dean laid him back down without removing his fingers. He locked eyes with Castiel as he wrapped his mouth around his throbbing cock, tasting Castiel’s juices that had been dripping down his shaft.  
“D-Dean. Dean… Don’t stop. Don’t stop…” Castiel pleaded. His body was shaking as he reached that edge. His muscles were tense and his hands gripped tightly at the sheets. He could feel his mind going foggy, his lips numb. He cried out Dean’s name as he came with short erratic thrusts into Dean’s mouth, emptying himself.

Dean drank it all up hungrily, milking him until the angel was whimpering and writhing at the sensation on his over sensitive body. Dean crawled over him and kissed him roughly, forcing his mouth open and getting off to the knowledge that Castiel could taste himself on Dean’s tongue. Castiel did not fight him off anymore, in fact, he was kissing back. It was lazy and wet, breathless, but eager. Dean smiled against his lips. “Knew you’d like that,” he bit Castiel’s bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and then licked it up and kissed him again. “My turn.”

Dean positioned himself over Castiel’s face, his cock hovering just above his lips, precum dripping down on them. “Open up, angel. Time to put that mouth to work- wanna see those pretty lips stretched around my cock”

Castiel looked out of sorts, eyes glazed over still coming down from his high. He felt the drops of cum at his lips and he licked at it instinctively. Dean’s hand came down onto his head, fingers carding through his hair and then gripping tight as he swiped his dick across his mouth, making them glisten with his cum. He nudged harder until Castiel finally complied. Dean moaned loudly and began thrusting downward into the wet heat of Castiel’s mouth.

He pushed further and Castiel grunted, gagging around his cock, his eyes tearing up, but he Dean not ease off. He struggled to breathe at first; he kicked and jerked to move his arms in hopeless effort to get some relief. Finally, after a few moments his body seemed to adjust and he was thankful when he was able to take a breath. He looked up to see Dean watching himself disappear as he fucked in and out Castiel’s mouth, his hands braced on the headboard.

“That’s it, baby. Suck my cock,” Dean panted.

What was probably only minutes, seemed like hours before Dean eventually pulled out. He began to stroke himself as he moved back down and kissed him once before continuing to lick and nip along his chest. He shoved Castiel’s legs open, impatiently and aligned himself.

“Stop,” the word was barely more than a hoarse, pleading whisper that Dean ignored. “No…” Castiel barely got the word out when Dean bit down hard on his shoulder as he pushed in, not giving Castiel any chance for adjustment for the sting and burn. Castiel screamed out in pain, but Dean’s mouth came down on his, muffling the sound.

“Quit being a bitch,” Dean said as he rose up. He thrusted fast and hard, pounding into him, sweat dripping off his face and onto Castiel. He watched Castiel’s face when he angled to hit that spot again, the angel throwing back his head and moaning loudly.

The pain was horrible, but fortunately did not last too long. It began to feel good again and when Dean hit his prostate, he could not stop the pleasured sound that escaped him. His body was already beginning to react as well- he felt himself growing hard for a second time, and again he felt shame. He listened to Dean panting by his ear, muttering things he did not care to hear in his current state.

“Wanted you for so long. So fucking beautiful.” “Feels so good, so tight. So good for me, Cas”

Every kiss planted on his lips brought more tears to Castiel’s eyes. _“Why… Why, Dean? I would have given myself to you. Would have given you everything…”_ The thoughts ran through Castiel’s mind. His body, mind, and heart were in turmoil. He had no strength to fight.

Dean turned Castiel onto his stomach, pulling up at his hips so that his ass was in the air for him. His hands kneaded the flesh and then gave it a stinging slap, the sound resounding in the room.

Castiel felt his body tense and his face burn with embarrassment; he had never felt so exposed and helpless. His hands clutched at air and his nails dug into his palms when he felt Dean spread his cheeks. He felt warm breath ghost against his skin, stubble brushing him as Dean’s tongue dipped down along the cleft of his ass.

“Fuck yes,” Dean groaned out before straightening up and pushing back in, grabbing hold of the shirt in his fist. Castiel was pulled up by the shirt with Dean holding onto one shoulder as he pounded into him. He drove in hard and long enough that Castiel felt he might pass out. After a while Dean let him drop to the mattress again and ground against him.

Castiel moaned loudly, his cries slightly muffled by the blanket even with his head turned to the side. His own cock was leaking, yearning to be touched. He pushed back against Dean.

“That’s right. Let’s burn those pretty wings to dust.” He smoothed his hands on his back over the area he knew Castiel’s wings would be, and then gripped him hard enough to leave two hand shaped bruises there. He pulled him up roughly by the shirt once more so that Castiel’s back was against his chest, and he whispered in his ear, “A little reminder of me gripping you tight and pulling you down a little closer to perdition.”

Dean pushed him to the side, turning him to his back and swinging one of Castiel’s legs over to the other side of himself so that he was between them again. “Wanna see you. See that pretty face… those baby blues shedding tears just for me.”

Dean pushed in and Castiel just wanted it to be over. He moaned with him, told Dean how much he liked it, “More, Dean. More. So good.” And it was only partially untrue, and Castiel loathed that fact. Loathed the human body for the first time for responding so willingly. He pushed back as much as he could, attempting to match Dean’s pace, trying to get him to the end. It seemed to work- in a matter of minutes, Dean’s thrusting became more erratic and Castiel felt his grip tighten where it was on his hip and shoulder.

Dean growled and Castiel felt hot cum fill him. The sight of him and the last few jerks which hit that sweet spot, sent Castiel over that edge right with him, untouched. Cum spurted onto their stomachs and chests between them. Never had anything felt so bittersweet.

Dean collapsed beside him, his arm still around Castiel’s torso and his face by the crook of his neck. Castiel’s heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel Dean’s was beating hard too, his heated breath on his sweat drenched skin. He turned, his face over Dean’s and his tears cascading down into his hair. “I still love you, Dean. I still love you,” Castiel whispered into Dean’s ear.

Dean felt the sharp pain in his heart briefly as he brushed off the last remnants of those damn human emotions trying to surface. He felt nothing.


End file.
